Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
