so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
