Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
