He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
