you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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