Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
