Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
