what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
BRING THE BAGELS
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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