You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
