Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
