Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
