i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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