am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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