I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
