if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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