Midget sex pt 2 tonight
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
