I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
