you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
