is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
