Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
