i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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