hotel room ftw
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
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