he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
