U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
