I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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