she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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