well you can't waste a boner
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
