Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
