I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
