Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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