He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
