If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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