Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
There are leaves in my underwear?
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