im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
