I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
