youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Just high enough for therapy.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
