how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
