i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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