Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
