you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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