he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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