can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
