btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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