Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
