I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
