Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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