Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
