Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
