it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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