She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
