i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
