You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
